Party Stories: Men, Rejection and Satisfaction
This is where I invite you to be the fly on my Hostesses walls. Tuesdays are “Voyeurism” day. I’ll regale you with the latest story, the incidents that touched me, confused me, even dumbfounded me. Be my Peeping Tabitha.
Six Pleasure Parties in five days generates a lot of interesting tidbits. A couple of wild guests, a few gay guys who always are the life of the party, lot’s of wine. A good time was had by all.
When there are so many in one week, its easy to notice trends. Certain questions that get repeated at every party, attitudinal themes.
Biggest Concern
Most women these days come to my parties with a blank check and encouragement from their partners to buy some fun sex toys for both of them. The women without partners, while occasionally shy, come to expand their horizons and often have a great time.
And then there is the other side. Women whose partners are upset or angry that they would even consider purchasing a sexual aid because it feels to them like a direct insult. These men have very strong beliefs about what constitutes good sex and how to be a good lover. When their women come to a “Sex Toy Party” they take as a rejection of them personally, or that they are lacking prowess under the sheets.
Most of the time, nothing could be farther from the truth.
It’s an unfortunate myth that it is possible for women to have orgasms through penetration. The fact is only about 24% of women can. But 65% of men believe that 100% of women can, if sex is done right. That puts a lot of pressure on couples in the bedroom, and forces a lot of faked orgasms.
This concern came up at every single party I did this past week.
Woman #1
They arrived late to a couple’s party. We had already started so they grabbed drinks and sat in the back, where I could see them but the rest of the guests couldn’t. Usually at my couples parties, the men are invited ONLY if they want to be there. No one is supposed to be coerced into coming. After all, if you don’t want to be here having fun, we don’t want you. Clearly, some signals had been crossed.
This guy definitely had better places to be. As each new lotion came up, he rolled his eyes. When I start talking battery-operated, I always make sure to say they are great to assure mutual timely satisfaction. This guy said under his breath loud enough for everyone to hear, “Yeah, right!”
She kept trying to show him stuff, kept repeating how the toys were for increasing the fun both of them, but he was not swayed. I kept expecting them to walk out half way through. At the end, during goodbyes, he wouldn’t even look at me.
I feel for this woman. She clearly is looking for their sex to be more satisfying, but he can’t hear her. In the end, she will just go along, and sublimate her own needs, or leave him. Neither of which seems like the choice he would prefer. Sad.
Woman #2
More than anything, she wants to make sure her sexual relationship with her husband stays satisfying. She’s been through intense surgery and has limited mobility, flexibility and battles pain. Not one ounce of self pity, in fact the opposite. Life is good, there is simply some healing to get done.
The problem? Her husband sees all Romance enhancements as rejection of him. He’s sure that her desire to add “extras” to their bedroom is really about his inadequacies as a lover. She explains that he is very conservative and quite shy about bedroom activities.He was very nervous and upset about her coming to the party.
She’s looking for a way to make sure that during this physically challenging time (recovering from surgery) the sexual side of their new (1 year) marriage doesn’t deteriorate. She was ALL about his needs and satisfaction.
She was SO brave. She came in to talk, made it clear from the outset that she wasn’t ready to buy but really needed some advice. How to talk to him without pushing his buttons. how to get him to see this was about wanting him, not replacing him. We had a great conversation and talked about getting a few toys that are clearly meant to be used as a couple, about broaching the subject gently, about the power of keeping the toys only for us time.
She left with a smile and a strategy for mutual pleasure. I know she’ll be back and they’ll try something. Sometimes, I really love my job.
The Stats
6 parties. 2 Taquitos eaten. 10 glasses red wine. 9 guys attending. 2 Loudmouth Drunk Guests. 8 bookings. $5303 sold. $2650 made. Weekend rating: 8 out of 10.
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I'm Dana Corey, the Spicy Princess ... here's the rest of the story. »
I’ve had so many experiences from the store like both of those women, which for me were the most uplifting and sad parts of the job. Though in the store I often had husbands who were really into things and the women who were greatly uncomfortable. Though some of that I am sure was the actual act of standing in the sex shop. Talking to those people again are one of the things I am the most excited about =)
Glad you had an enjoyable and profitable weekend!