Spicy Princess | April 14th, 2009

Small and Big, Sex Toy Parties rock!

This is where I invite you to be the fly on my Hostesses walls. I’ll regale you with the latest story, the incidents that touched me, confused me, even dumbfounded me. Be my Peeping Tabitha.

All over the map

This weekend I presented two Romance Workshops. They were as different as they could possibly be. The first was an intimate group of seven friends, of which I am a part outside of my business. The second was a marvelously interactive, fun, big mixed group of lesbians, married couples and single straight girls. The atmospheres were completely different, and each was perfectly wonderful in its own way.

The small

In general my policy has been not to do Romance parties for my friends here in Portland. (Traveling is different, because if I work it makes it easier to visit.) Let’s just say I changed my mind and simply said yes when one of my long-term friends who had NEVER been to one of my parties called and asked to host one. I figured that even if no one bought, (and I was pretty sure no one would), or few even showed, it would be a fun, relaxing Friday night out with MY girls. Given that I very rarely get to have a night out with them, whatever happened, I knew it would be worth it.

SO, so, so beyond my expectations! I got there early because there was a mix-up on the invitation. (My fault entirely.) I set-up, helped make dinner, drank preparatory wine and dished. Just one of the girls.

Then I did my thing.

A conversation about sex, the concerns, the excitement and the issues along with all the education I do is completely different when I know the women so intimately. I know most of these women’s partners, children and have seen them in good times and bad. Plus we’re all facing the body issues of women in our 40’s. Some of us, LATE 40’s. (Have I mentioned I started my 5th decade last month? Old Lady, as my Ranch Boy constantly reminds me! *grin)

We’re not young, nubile and tight anymore. We’re also mostly not afraid of sex, intimacy or asking for what we want, or need, anymore. We have mostly come to terms with the way we look and feel. We may not always be sexy to others aside from our partners, but we are confident in our own sexuality. We are committed to keeping the intimacy in our relationships alive no matter the adjustments and concessions we might need to make as we age. Honestly, we are free.

Liberated, Feminists, in a real sense of the word. As loaded as those words have become, I realized Friday that helping women uncover their internal liberated feminist is really the gist of what I do. It made me happy. As did the Sauna and the Hot Tub after I was done talking and my friends were done shopping. Yes, they shopped. A lot. Thanks!

The big

My hostess called me a couple of days before the party a little panicked. She was worried they were ALL going to come. I have always coached my hostesses that in general only a third of the guests invited usually attend, so she and her partner had invited 35 people. 28 of them had responded with an enthusiastic YES! In the middle of making calls to confirm, my hostesses decided they better stop calling. Personally, this is a problem I can live with! *grin

The night was really fun. One of the main things I worry about with such a mixed crowd is that the guys will act out. Or that I’ll lose the room and chaos will ensue. Or that some of the crowd will feel I didn’t cover enough of the products that were for their particular needs. None of this happened.

We had a few people standing in the back, and in the kitchen, not for lack of seats but because they didn’t want to get too close. (People, I don’t bite, really! and neither do my toys…) And of course, they were loud, but a fun loud, a party loud. Not the disrespectful kind, the having a good time kind. Perfect!

Everyone had fun, even the guy who had been psyching himself up the whole day and fortifying himself with beer. He even came out of the kitchen and participated at the end.

What I love about a crowd like this is they are open to talking about sex from so many different angles. When you have gay and straight, men and women, coupled and single all together, it allows for so much more of an open conversation. I love it when I can pull out a strap-on harness, 3 dildos of different sizes and a masturbation sleeve so that everyone is exposed to each other’s possibilities. That is what inclusiveness and tolerance and openness are really about.

The Stats.

2 parties. 1 Polish Sausage with Grilled Onions. 4 glasses red wine. (Yes, I’m a wino). 3 Men. 0 Loudmouth drunks. Win! 4 bookings. $2202 sold. $1101 made. Weekend rating: 9 out of 10.

If you would like to host your own Spicy party, contact me and we’ll let the fun begin!