Spicy Princess | December 2nd, 2008

Party Stories: Naked Garden Slaves

Truth is every Pleasure Party is memorable, but there simply is not enough time in a week to tell you about all of them. Every weekend I do 2-4 Pleasure Workshops. Tuesdays are “Party Stories” day. I’ll regale you with the latest story, the incidents that touched me, confused me, even dumbfounded me. Be my Peeping Tabitha.

The Week

It was a slow, lazy weekend. Lots of turkey and tryptophan. No parties. How about my Naked Garden Slave story?

Naked Garden Slave

His name is Roger. It was the first offer I got when I still believed that advertising in the local paper was the way to go.

The paper was the WW. A standard alternative weekly loosely based on the format of the Village Voice. Funny Back Page ads, pages of escorts with a quirky readership. What I thought was a perfect fit.

I can’t remember the exact wording of the ad anymore. It was about 4 years ago. Something simple, inviting people to host For Your Pleasure parties or to come be on my team of Naughty Nymphettes.

Voicemail:

(Very nasally male voice with a slight drawl)

” Hi, this is Roger. I read your ad and I wanted to offer my services. I’d like to come help you out at your parties, you know… serving drinks, demoing your products. I’d be happy to come just wearing a bow tie. If not that, I’d like to be your Naked Garden Slave.”

Can you imagine my surprise? I had never heard of a Naked Garden slave as a job description before, but believe you me, I was ready to sign up! I could see it in action. A buff naked guy hauling compost, pulling weeds, picking luscious veggies. Seriously, suddenly it was clear – I needed a Naked Garden Slave. Every Spicy Princess’s dream, right?

But Roger? Ew!

Sorry Roger!

Nope, I am a lucky girl. I have a Ranch Boy (he really grew up on a ranch), who doubles as a garden slave, and happily gets naked, only not outside, and just for me. Yep, MY Naked Garden Slave.

Poor Roger. I hope he found what he was looking for.

I don’t advertise anymore. One Roger was enough.