Whether you plan to give a garden-variety backrub or a full-scale sensual massage, you’ll need some lubrication — a bone-dry massage can actually hurt! Fortunately, a multitude of products are available to choose from. We recommend keeping at least one of each type of massage product on hand — you never know when you’ll have a massage emergency!

Massage Oils

Kama Sutra Oil

Item 375

Massage oils do a variety of useful things: they spice up a boring night, lend a sensual dimension to a boring old back rub, and reduce friction, keeping your body silky, slippery and slick. Available in a wide variety of flavors and viscosities, most massage oils are non-toxic and safe to ingest in small quantities. However, make sure you read the bottle before you lick massage oil off your lover’s back! A night of sensual massage should not result in a trip to the doctor.

The Kama Sutra Aweet Almond massage oil is specifically formulated to leave you feeling smooth, moisturized but never greasy. Made from Cold-pressed oils and infused with Pure Almond Essence, it soothes your mood as well as your skin.

To use massage oil, pour a small amount in the palm of your hand and rub your hands together before gently applying to your lover’s body. Never pour the oil directly on from the bottle — it feels cold and weird. Rub the lotion or oil into your lover’s body, reapplying as necessary. If you have oily skin, make sure you shower after your massage: many massage oils can cause breakouts on your back or chest.

Feel free to rub oil into your lover’s back, arms, legs, buttocks, chest and neck, but keep it away from genitals unless the bottle specifically says the lotion is safe for internal use. Even if it is safe, test a small amount on the skin first, ensuring you and your lover won’t have an allergic or “burning” reaction to it. Massage oils are not safe to use with latex products, such as sex toys or condoms, unless the bottle specifically states otherwise. Massage oils should also not be used as a lubricant for penetration, unless the product has been specifically formulated for anal, vaginal or oral play.

Massage Lotions

Pheromones Lotion

Item 8628

If you don’t like slightly greasy residue that massage oils can leave behind, you might want to try a massage lotion. In addition to being a little less slippery, massage lotions don’t usually cause breakouts, as massage oils have been known to do. If you have oily skin, you may want to start with a lotion, as opposed to oil. However, massage lotions also moisturize dry, flaky skin, so if you have dry or combination skin, they’re a safe bet too.

Our Pheromones Lotion feels soft and silky and absorbs lightly into the skin. Smelling of crisp Cucumber and Melon and formulated with pheromones, you will find yourself relaxed and decidedly happier after your massage.

While you can use regular hand lotion for a back rub, it’s best to use lotions specifically developed for massage. They leave less of a sticky residue and often have a pleasant aroma and/or taste. Try to avoid the Ben Gay-scented athletic tonics when combining sex with massage — the mentholated fumes, while effective at relieving stress and tension from the body, can be a huge sensual turnoff.

Massage lotions are used in much the same way as oils: rub a tablespoon-sized dollop between your hands, and then apply it with long, languorous strokes. You’ll need to reapply lotions more often than oils as lotions are usually absorbed more quickly. Also, unlike oils, lotions can usually be rejuvenated with a spritz of water from a spray bottle, which also creates a pleasantly slippery texture that can be quite erotic.

Like massage oils, lotions will destroy latex products, such as sex toys or condoms, unless the bottle specifically states otherwise. Also, massage lotions should never be used internally, for activities such as vaginal or anal play. Many lotions are non-toxic, and therefore safe to lick; however, you’ll want to check the bottle’s label first. Be warned: lotions that aren’t specifically made to be edible (which is different than non-toxic) can taste really terrible, so you may want to avoid oral experimentation unless you’re using a product formulated for oral play.

Warming Lotions

Aphrodisiac Oil

Item 5605

While not the best option for full-body massages, warming oils, also known as edible oils, are great for genital massage, or for massaging small, concentrated areas, such as breasts, buttocks, thighs and arms.

Warming oils work about the same way massage oils work: pour a small puddle in one hand, rub both hands together to distribute, then apply in a thin layer to the desired area. Gently rub into the skin, applying more as necessary. As you continue to massage, the warming oil will begin to heat up, causing your partner to feel a pleasantly warm sensation.

Some warming oils can’t be used with latex products — make sure to read the label before using. Warming oils aren’t appropriate for internal use — don’t use them for vaginal or anal penetration. However, you can apply them to the surface of your genitals. Be warned: some of the warmth-inducing elements may irritate skin; do a skin patch test before using during sex or your genitals may end up hotter than you intended.

Whether or not you feel comfortable using massage products or warming oils at every sexual encounter, it’s smart to have a few bottles lying around in case you need them. Most keep for a couple of years without damage; open the bottle and sniff them before using. If the bottle smells unpleasant, or if there’s any icky-looking residue, toss it. It’s better to be safe than sorry.

If this post hit the spot, take a look at these:

• Rubbing Your Lover the Right Way
• It Hurts! And my dildo is lonely.
• Lube Baby!

This is the one thing I tell my customers to always have on hand. Lube enhances sex and masturbation. There are a huge variety of lubes out there, and as you can imagine, some are better than others for different situations.

I need to mention here, that there are many types of lubes that are simply unsafe for women, even though men can use them (and like them.)

Oil based lubes:

Women should never use anything containing oil on, or around, their vulva or in their vagina. Oil can take a long time to work it’s way out because it clings to the skin and resists being washed out. This can create bacterial infections. Plus oil and condoms are are a bad mix (oil breaks down latex so the condoms can fail).

Petroleum derived lubes:

Vaseline and baby oil to name a couple. These products are simply dangerous to women. Their use has been linked to the spread of the HPV virus and onset of cervical cancer. Please keep them away from your vagina!

Water-based and Silicone based lubes:

These are the ones suggested by Drs, midwives and sex educators world-wide. Ingredients (which can include flavoring and herbs) and prices vary, but all are generally safe for use with condoms.

Silicone lubricant, when Medical Grade, is one of the finest lubes out there. Fragrance free, tasteless and completely inert, those with sensitive skin issues find that these lubes are the least irritating. Silicone molecules are too large to pass through the skin, so they don’t get absorbed, which leaves them with nothing to do other than to work their way out of the vagina. Also, with nowhere to go, silicone lube stays slippery for a very long time, therefore you use a lot less of it.

Silicone lube is also waterproof and can be used in the shower, bath, hot-tub, etc. and provides a dry, yet extremely slippery sensation.

Also great for “chub rub” or intense physical activity like running, biking, etc. Keeps your skin from chaffing, but because it’s ‘dry’, you won’t even know it’s there!

Water-based lubricant is more similar to the sensation of our natural, body made lubrication. It is wet, just like us, which makes it feel more familiar. However, because it’s made from water, it does absorb into our skin, taking with it any impurities, and often irritating the vagina. The absorption rate also means you need to keep reapplying in order to keep the same level of slipperiness.

Many women prefer the feeling of water-based lube, and like that it washes right off with simple water. (Personally, I use Silicone for slippery and then add a little water-based so it feels more like me.)

Lubricant also comes in many forms: liquid, gel and thicker creams. Thicker lubes are often used for anal play (because they’re less likely to travel to the vagina) and sometimes include a desensitizer.

How to Select a Lubricant

I know selecting a lubricant can be confusing. Fortunately, if you answer three simple questions, it’s easy!

1. Results: What do you want this lube to do?

• Are you looking for a lubricant that feels as natural as possible?
  • Then a water-based lube may be more to your liking. Affordable and available in a wide selection, you can experiment with different lubes without spending too much money.

• Do you want something with more staying power?
  • A silicone-based lube is ideal because it doesn’t absorb into the skin. It’s also perfect for use in the water or with waterproof toys!

• Will you be using this lube for anal play?
  • You’ll probably want a thicker, slipperier, lubricant.

2. “Extras”: Any other characteristics you want in this lubricant?

• Are you looking for a lube to make oral play even more pleasant?
  • Try a flavored lubricant.

• Do you want to add an extra kick to your sexual encounters?
  • Try a lube that warms or that includes different ingredients such as ginseng, yohimbe or even hemp. Some people feel heightened sensations thanks to these all-natural additives — you never know!

• Will you be using the lube with condoms?
  • Then please, please be sure to read the description to ensure the lube is condom-safe. All the lubes we sell at For Your Pleasure are, but if you aren’t sure, email me and I will be able to tell you.

3. Size: Are you using it mostly at home or are you more on the go?

• Would you like something to keep handy in the bedroom?
  • Then you would probably prefer a larger size container that’s also easy to dispense from.

• Do you prefer something that you can throw into your bag or your pocket?
  • Anything less than two ounces is ideal.

• Are you interested in having a variety of different kinds of lube to try?
  • Most lubricants, regardless of their characteristics, come in four-to-eight-ounce sizes, making it easy to collect several. It’s also not super pricey!

Things to Keep in Mind

You’re about to choose the lube of your dreams, so we just have a few more items for you to consider:

• Not sure about the best way to use lubricant or if you should even use it?
  • Read about it here next week!

• Is cleanup is an issue for you?
  • Stick with water-based lubes as they simply need a rinse with water and they’re gone; most are non-staining as well.

• Concerned about reactions or irritation?
  • If you experience discomfort after applying a lubricant, wash it off immediately and see your doctor if a rash appears or does not fade in a day or so. As you’re dealing with a very sensitive and delicate area, you may have to try a few before you find one you like and that likes you!

• Make sure you have my email or phone number in case you have questions!

Look here under ‘Lube and Lather” for all the different lubes I sell. Enjoy it in good health and with great pleasure!

If this post hit the spot, take a look at these:

• Introducing Sex Toys to your Relationship
• Give Your Girl an Orgasm!
• It Hurts! And my dildo is lonely.

I talk a lot about all the different kinds of sex toys and romance products out there, but I haven’t said much about how to choose the right one for you. With so many options, those of us who may never have used a vibrator, c-ring or anal plug can be completely overwhelmed.  Even those of us who have experimented a little can have a hard time making a decision.  This is the third in a series of posts about how to choose the right sex toys for you.

If you want to check out the others

Why Do I Want a Toy?

What Should my Sex Toy Do?

Choosing a vibrator.

Let’s start with vibrators.  Just to be clear, I’m lumping any battery- or electrically-powered toy into this category.  There is a wide range of options, with vibrators designed to stimulate pretty much any part of your anatomy, with a focus on the hot spots of the clitoris and g-spot.

What area do you want to stimulate?

Sensual Touch
item #4016

Traditional Vibrators

Traditional vibrators are typically shaped something like a penis. They offer the intensity of a steady vibration, perhaps with multiple speeds.  They’re designed for insertion but can be used on the clitoris or other body parts.

G-Spot Vibrators

The Gigi
item #4005

The main difference between a traditional vibrator and these is that g-spot vibrators are curved, and often shorter, to make hitting the g-spot that much easier.

Clitoral Vibrators (Bullets and such)

Aussie Adventure
item #7225

These toys have been known to put the ‘O’ back into orgasm. They are some of the most versatile and best loved vibrators around.

They range from mini, non-insertable bullets to non-traditional shapes like the Nea. Many of them are simple and have either one or a couple of speeds, but the best ones have a variety of pulsation modes to really rock your world.

Multi-action Vibrators (Like the Rabbit of Sex and the City fame)

Endless Pleasure
item #3155

There are also dual- or multi-action vibrators, with a shaft that may rotate in different directions, vibrate, have gyrating beads or “pearls,” be texturized or all of the above; they also have a clitoral stimulator attached at the base of the shaft.  This is where the rabbit got it’s name.  These stimulators are often in the shape of an animal (rabbits, butterflies and dolphins being popular.

Most have separate controls for each action, though these may be found on either the base of the vibe or be attached by a cord or wire to a handpack where the batteries are inserted.

How to select a Vibrator

We know how overwhelming selecting a vibrator can be. Fortunately, if you answer three simple questions, it’s easy!

1. What do you want this toy to do to you (or your partner)?  You’ve probably started thinking about this when you read the previous posts in this series.  Here are a few things to consider that are unique to vibrators.

• Is this your first foray into buying a vibrator? Then consider starting out with something small and gentle.
• Are you looking for something to provide internal stimulation? Then a traditional vibrator is your best bet, but you should also consider a dual-action or G-Spot vibe.
• Looking for external clitoral as well as internal stimulation? A dual-action vibrator is ideal.
• Do you have difficulty achieving orgasm or need something more powerful? If so, you’ll want to look into a vibrator that pulses.

2. What do you want this toy to feel and look like?

• Do you want something that feels as much like skin as possible? If so,  you definitely want something made of silicone, CyberskinTM, or Soft Touch materials; these materials are pricier than plastic, jelly or rubber, but feel uncannily realistic.
• Are you looking for something that feels realistic, but is more affordable? Most vibrators made of jelly or rubber will warm to your body temperature and feel more lifelike. However, these materials are often made with Phthalates, and can carry health risks.
• Would you prefer a toy that you can use in the water? Then any vibe that is waterproof is the best for you; check by looking for a rubber O-ring at the opening to the battery compartment.
• Do you prefer something rigid that transmits the strongest vibration possible? A traditional slimline vibe, generally made of hard plastic and without bells or whistles, is what you’re looking for. Kits and Kaboodles often include a slimline, as well as sleeves made of softer materials such as silicone or jelly.

3. Do you want smaller than average, average or fantasy-sized?

• Are you just beginning to experiment with toys? Then you’ll probably want to start with a smaller vibrator.
• Do you want something of an average size that won’t be as intimidating to bring into your intimate relationship? You should look at the dimensions of the vibrator. If they’re not listed in the description, contact me and ask; don’t just go by a picture. If a toy is so big it’s uncomfortable or too small to satisfy, then you’ll be frustrated and unhappy.
• Is a feeling of fullness most gratifying to you? Again, be sure to look at the dimensions so that you’re not disappointed. or give me a call.

Make Sure You Have All Your Accessories

Finally, after you’ve selected the product that you think meets your needs, make sure you have all of the following:

• Plenty of fresh batteries in the proper size for your battery-operated toy. The description and the box your vibe comes in should say what size is needed.
• Lubricant, Lubricant, Lubricant! There are many different kinds at many different prices.
• Information on how to care for your toy and keep it clean. Unless a toy is made of either 100% medical grade silicone or glass, I recommend using a special toy cleaner. Personally, I think Mighty Tidy, item #7070 is the best, anti microbial and anti-fungal. Kills germs on contact!

Ready to start looking for the perfect vibrator to add to the side of YOUR bed? Buy here.

If this post hit the spot, take a look at these:

• Give Your Girl an Orgasm!
• Lube Baby!
• How to choose a Sex Toy, #2: What Do I Want it to Do?

I talk a lot about all the different kinds of sex toys and products out there, but I haven’t said much about how to choose the right one for you. With so many options, those of us who may never have used a vibrator, c-ring or anal plug can be completely overwhelmed. Even those of us who have experimented a little can have a hard time making a decision. This is the second in a series of posts about how to choose the right sex toys for you.

What do you actually want it to do?

Of course, the answer to how depends entirely on the answers to “why do you want a toy?” which you should read if you haven’t. Once you know WHY you want a toy, we can get a little more specific and narrow down the options:

• Who is going to use the toy?

You, your partner or both of you? Separately or together?

If it’s just for you, go ahead, be selfish! You only have to please yourself. *grin

If it’s for both of you, you can decide together or really keep in mind your partner’s preferences. Don’t go buy something that will specifically push his, or her, buttons. That is not going to work. Ever.

• What do you want the toy to do for you? Specifically?

Everyone comes in with different genital sensitivity. Some like firm and gentle. Others like rough, deep and hard. Still others want it just this side of pain, or even that side of pain.

The Echo
item #3015

If your clitoris is extremely sensitive, instead of a vibrator, maybe you want a dildo or dong. (Same thing, different words, no vibration.)

Dildos offer a feeling of fullness, allow people who enjoy penetrating their honeys but don’t have the biological equipment, to do so. They also can be great at stimulating G-Spots and Prostates. (Great at finding them too, if yours seems a mystery to you.)

Luv Touch Teazer
item #6732

If you’re looking for external stimulation, a vibrator can help you achieve orgasm with or without a partner. And vibrators come big or small, with various speeds, or with pulsation modes.

Aqua Adventure
item #7225

Pulsation is the best thing ever for clitoral play because each little pulse, followed by ‘off’, keeps your clit from getting over stimulated and turning off. (You know, when you’re sure he moved! Go on, keep blaming him, but really, NOT his fault.)

Rock Chic
item 9410

Or maybe you want both together: penetration and vibration?

Don’t forget to consider how you and your partner work. Do you take turns getting each other off, or do you go for simultaneous stimulation?

Once you figure out what you want the toy to do for you, it’s time to pick which toy to get. I’ll get more specific about this next week.

Want one of these products by the side of YOUR bed? Buy here.

If this post hit the spot, take a look at these:

• Give Your Girl an Orgasm!
• It Hurts! And my dildo is lonely.
• Female Orgasm

I talk a lot about all the different kinds of sex toys and romance products out there, but I haven’t said much about how to choose the right one for you. With so many options, those of us who may never have used a vibrator, c-ring or anal plug can be completely overwhelmed.  Even those of us who have experimented a little can have a hard time making a decision.  This is the first in a series of posts about how to choose the right sex toys for you.

Why do you want a toy?

This really is the most important question. Maybe the only question.

• You and your partner have been together forever!

Hot Affair Game
item 170

Toys are great for bringing back a little newness into a relationship that feels a little stale in a rut.

They’re perfect for injecting a little of that thrilling “awkwardness”  that comes with infatuation and the first time you hit the sack.

Perhaps you’re ready to try something different, maybe a fantasy that has been percolating awhile, or stretching the bounds of your self-defined routines.

Under The Bed Restraints
item 11711

• You and your partner are relatively new to each other, and you are keen to experiment and try everything, the wilder the better.

Experimentation is the name of the game when it comes to toys. Pretty much, if you can think of it, there’s a toy to help you go there.

• You, or your female partner, are looking for a quicker, easier, more reliable way of achieving the big ‘O’.

Flexa Pleaser
item 3626

This is REALLY important: Only 24% of women orgasm from penetration alone. Guys, yes YOU (Those lovely women who sleep with other women already know this!) that means most likely your woman can only achieve satisfaction through clitoral stimulation, which, for your information, is more complicated than jerking off!

Adding a small, discreet vibrator is not designed to replace you, but to offer her something your body simply cannot do. Which will make her happier. She’ll like you more. Maybe she’ll even sleep with you more. Isn’t that the point?

And women, this means that nothing is wrong with you if you don’t orgasm from penetration without clitoral stimulation, it just means you’re like most other women!  If you’re worried about your partner’s reaction to being introduced to a toy, read here.

• You have sex by yourself and your right (or left) hand is seriously over it.

Shunga Sweet Snow
item 10110

Nuf’ said.

• You just wanna have some fun.

This could be the best reason of all. After all, sex toys are TOYS, and toys are meant to be played with. Playing is fun! Remember? We all just take sex way too seriously!

Want one of these products by the side of YOUR bed? Buy here.

If this post hit the spot, take a look at these:

• Introducing Sex Toys to your Relationship
• Give Your Girl an Orgasm!
• It Hurts! And my dildo is lonely.