My Libido, His Libido…

Ask The Spicy Princess

So many questions about the libido!

What tips do you have for couples whose sex drives are totally different. My man wants what I think is a lot: 3 times a day. Me not so much: once a week? We’ve been together for 6 years and have good communication. I basically feel sexually lame when I compare myself to him. Thank you! ~Anonymous

Dear Anonymous,

Hugs! It can be really hard to feel so out of sync with your partner.

The place to start is with that word “compare.” Comparing yourself with anyone else, even your partner, when it comes to sex, is a sure fire way to make yourself feel inadequate or “lame.” In all things sexual, there is no normal, no standard, other than the one we create in our own minds.

Embrace that at this moment in your life, you and your body want to have sex about once a week. That’s not only OK, it’s just how it is. Right now. Not necessarily forever.

Then think about what your sex life would look like if you had it the way you want. And be willing to talk to your partner about it.

Wanting to want more sex

There are some steps you can take to help your body feel more desire.

(I want to emphasize that I am NOT a Dr. and you should get your Dr.’s opinion on anything I say, particularly if it’s different than your Dr.’s advice!)

#1. Get some sleep!

One of the biggest libido killers is fatigue. Stress is a close second. Most of us don’t sleep enough and our bodies aren’t up to performing gymnastics when we’re tired. Enough sleep will also help with the stress. ‘Nuf said.

#2. Libido enhancers for women

Sexual Energy Drink
item #9878

Woman’s Sexual Energy Drink.

I know, I didn’t believe it at first either. The idea of drinking something and then getting horny seemed like one of those slick, stupid spam emails. Something I would never do. But all in the name of research for the cause, I tried it. Surprisingly, this stuff really works!!

You mix one dose (3 in a vial, ea. about 1 tbsp.) with the last sip or two of your drink. Alcohol definitely seems to work better, but juice is OK too. About half an hour later, WooHoo! Ranch Boy was a happy camper.

It is a blend of scientifically evaluated plant extracts. Their alleged actions on the blood flow are recognized to promote the following effects:

• Damiana: Sensitivity of the sexual region and strengthening of the vaginal wall;
• Caramuru: Stimulation of the central nervous system, the dilatation of the blood vessels for better lubrication and the improvement of sexual desire through its alleged aphrodisiac properties;
• Ashwaganda: A general sense of well-being, the activation of sexual energy, the augmentation of libido and the improvement of tactile sensations;
• Clavo huasca: Augmentation of libido, regulation of hormonal production and might be particularly effective for pre-menopausal women;
• Guarana: Better responses to sexual stimulations, reduction of inhibitions, augmentation of creativity and physical ability.

Contraindication Not recommended during pregnancy and for persons suffering of hypertension.

Secret Garden
item #10320

Another great libido enhancer for women is Secret Garden Read this previous post about what it does and how to use it.

Wanting him to ask for less sex.

We’ll have to tackle this part of the question another day. And then there’s the whole other manifestation of the out-of-sync libido. The one where a woman wants sex more often than her male partner. Surprising to many women NOT dealing with this side of the issue, about 30% of married men are less interested in sex than their wives.

Another time.

To purchase the above products, or any others, click on buy a toy above, and go to the store!

If this post hit the spot, take a look at these:

• Hot Affair: Need a break? Take a drive.
• Give Your Girl an Orgasm!
• Leading a Team of Naughty Nymphettes