He’s Too Big. Help!

Ask The Spicy Princess

When size really is the issue:

I have a host who is interested in the Succulent Blossom, a masturbation sleeve for her husband, but is afraid it will squeeze him to death because he is so big. She says most of their arguments come from not having sex because she usually ends up bleeding by the end because he rips her, so she’s sure he’ll rip the Blossom. I told her she needs the silicone lube, and that I would talk to you and ask your advice. Thank you! ~Kristin M.

Dear Kristin,

Your hostess may be asking about the Blossom, but it sounds to me as if she is also looking for a way to have sex that doesn’t hurt.  Let’s see if we can help her to get both.

First off, tell her to find time to sit down with her honey at a time when sex is not imminent, so it doesn’t feel like an ambush to him. Conversations about getting what you want can only happen when everyone feels safe. No blame. No anger.

Have her explain to him that she really WANTS to have sex with him, and she gets nervous because so often she feels bruised and is often bleeding afterwards. Have her ask him if he is willing to spend a little time working on a solution together so that they can both enjoy their sex life. Hopefully, he’ll happily agree.

Of course, if he says no, I’d go the Dan Savage route and tell her to DTMFA (Dump The Mother Fucker Already).

First on the list is Lube.

Yes, the System Jo Pharmaceutical Grade Silicone. Lubrication is nature’s way of protecting the fragile skin of our vaginas, but nature didn’t consider all the odds stacked against us. Adding a little man-made lube from a bottle will do wonders for eliminating some of the tearing and bruising caused by too much friction.

The second recommendation is Shunga Secret Garden

This helps get her more in the mood and turn her on quickly in case 20 minutes of foreplay is not what he’s up for.

Secret Garden* is a topical, herbal creme with L-Arginine. When applied to a woman’s clitoris and labia, not only will she be completely aroused in 30-45 seconds, but her orgasms will intensify, and with consistent use over 2-3 weeks, her libido will naturally increase. It’s truly Magic Cream! (* Not for women who are pregnant or who have genital herpes)

Slow Down

Thirdly, he needs to be careful and slow while they are having intercourse. Maybe even making sure she has an orgasm first, since that will help stretch her as well.

The key to her enjoyment is SLOW!! And honestly, if he’s too big for her to enjoy intercourse, there are loads of other great ways to get pleasure and intimacy. For both of them.

Succulent Blossom

As far as the his using the Succulent Blossom, when it first comes, it will be too tight. Once it’s stretched though, it should be big enough even for “Jeff Stryker” the biggest dildo I have in my Party kit.

To get it ready, when it first arrives, have her lube it up and slide it over a glass soda bottle and leave it there for a couple of days. If that’s not enough, then have them slowly stretch it more and more with their hands. Or have him use the sleeve for solo play over a period of a week or so. That should stretch it to the right size if he’s careful with it.

The Results

I know it’s a lot of steps, but it will be totally worth it. Not just because he’ll get more of what he wants from the Succulent Blossom, but because she’ll get some relief from the pressure she must be feeling to put out more often than her body is comfortable with.

It will bring the joy back to their sex life. And the fun!

The best part? It will make every other aspect of their relationship better too. If he’s willing to do the work, I have no doubt that all sorts of really great things are in store for them.

Dana, The Spicy Princess

And if YOU want any of these products, go to the store .  Perhaps you want some private, confidential advice about your sex life, email me at SpicyPrincess AT comcast DOT net. I’m here for you.

If this post hit the spot, take a look at these:

• It Hurts! And my dildo is lonely.
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• Lube Baby!