Spicy Princess | December 22nd, 2008

Hot Affair: Swallowing the Snark

The Hot Affair Experiment.

Two weeks ago we started the Hot Affair experiment. About trying one relatively small task a week, to get the thrill back. You can pick and choose as they come along, or you can try each one and see if you get where you’re looking to go. One rule: No Pressure! There are no shoulda, woulda, coulda’s in this experiment.

Just joining us and want to start at the beginning?

#1 Pampering Yourself

As we get closer to the holidays, I find myself thinking a lot about gifting. Gifting is so rife with danger. And I don’t just mean the kind you buy and put under a tree.

(One day maybe I’ll tell you about how I’m the Grinch and stole Christmas from my kids. Cause I’m Jewish. Even if I did grow up with Santa Claus and trees and shit.)

I mean gifting, like the nice thing that your partner does while you’re at work, or away, hoping to make you happy. A present of fix-it-ness.

Except you’d rather he had done the dishes and completely cleaned the kitchen, or filled the tank of your car that he’s been driving and is now flashing icons of gas pumps. Or maybe, you are happy that he fixed the window/faucet/drawer but all you can think about is “You left a friggin’ mess, g*d damn it!”

I’m ranting, I know, but be honest, you’ve been there too, right? Please say yes, so I don’t feel all alone here.

The shitty part of it is that no one wins.

Stuff actually gets done, stuff that needed to happen, stuff that at another time would probably make us happy, thrilled even. Instead, we’re annoyed, peeved. Not grateful or loving. Kind of ruins the mood, not to mention that lovely hubbie or partner will be less likely to gift again.

This week’s Hot Affair action is designed to impact your reaction so you feel happy, not crappy. (Don’t you hate rhymes in awkward places? Sorry.)

Ok, simple but really hard! Bite your tongue! I don’t mean literally, Silly. Zip the lip, count to 10, whatever it takes. Just keep the snarky comments to yourself.

You may not feel better right then, in the moment – you also won’t feel so ungrateful and hen-ish about it later. Just try it.

Extra-credit: Say Thank You. (I know, so damn predictable) Only if you feel it, when and if you do. Say the Magic Words. That’s why they’re magic.

Let me know how it goes.