Valentine’s Day is designed to remind you to share some tender time with the one you love- even if your ideal bonding includes handcuffs. While the sex act itself can be awesome, we all just really yearn to feel admired and loved. Dote on your partner before the sex and watch the steam rise when the consummation nears.

Valentine’s will be here before you know it! Here are various ideas to get your imagination rolling so you can start preparing for the big day (or weekend) before you’re living in the doghouse!

For the Almighty Aphrodite:

Ladies, would you like to do something special to entice your lover? Try relaxing. Women are very emotional lovers. They tend to have a hard time getting the days chores out of their mind and they spend too much time putting themselves down. With so many burdens clogging the female mind, sometimes you have to do something for yourself before you can get fully involved in the euphoria of intimacy with a partner.

Think: “Sexuality Before Sensuality”.

Spend some time pampering.

• 

  Shunga Bath Crystal

  item 10260

  A hot bath with the aromatherapy of the Shunga Bath Crystals will get rid of the stresses of the day while it exfoliates the skin and leaves you soft as silk and touchable. These Dead Sea Salts contain Ph balancing amino acids and are safe to use for even the most sensitive lady parts.

• Create a hidden surprise for him by using the Coochy to shave the pubic area into eye catching shapes (or go bare) while keeping you bump free.

Another common vice of the modern day woman is that she will often compare herself to the cover girls and feel a little under par. Stop worrying if he can see those stretch marks (you’ve earned them) or if he thinks your hips are too big. Most times, you are wasting the moment on these thoughts while he’s staring at or feeling the body part(s) on you he loves most. Being confident can be very liberating and sexy!

• 

  Garter Belt

  item L1948

  Try a piece of lingerie that compliments your body. Guys love the eye candy. Maybe you got to the gym to fulfill that New Year’s resolution- maybe not. It doesn’t matter.You are beautiful and it’s a divine feeling to show off in a well chosen outfit that accentuates his favorite body part on you.

• Completely delve into the mood with a few strategically placed drops of Pure Instinct pheromones perfume. Increase your adrenaline and sexual desire then get close to him. When the essence tickles his senses, he’ll be standing at attention.

For the Valentine’s Valentino:

Men tend to be turned on very quickly through visual stimuli but guys, looking at a porn star or watching a XXX movie may not always be the trick to turn her on. Don Quixote and Rudolph Valentino always won the hearts of their women with poetry and romance!

• Show your lover that you care and use a little thought to impress her- she will notice.  Flowers, chocolates and diamonds are always reliable, especially in a new relationship, but if you’ve used the old stand-bys before, it’s time to become innovative.

• 

  Rose Petal Seductions

  item 9150

  While she’s showering, trail the Rose Petal Seductions to guide her to the love nest. Each petal has a word on it so be creative with your arrangement.

• Prepare the lovemaking room or area by adding ambiance with the Caress Me Candles. Keep one easily accessible since these natural candles serve a double purpose as warm massage oil when lit.

• Bring a book to read. No, not Tom Sawyer, but something a little more erotic, like Jenna Jameson’s “Lip Service”. Pick a favorite story out ahead of time. When she finds you, begin reading aloud softly and watch the twinkle in her eye shine bright.

When you have her all melted, be sure to take your time and savor every inch of her body, skin, her hair and her scents. Tell her what you love about her. Ravage her and she’ll most likely return the favor.

For Both the Lovebirds:

An unexpected note is always welcome and you can do this anytime, but try it for Valentine’s this year. Get our Naughty Notes, Lips sticky note pad. Write a reason why you love that person on each note. Mix them up with personality traits and physical attributes.

• 

  Naughty Notes

  item 7337

  Put the PG-rated notes on the bathroom mirror, the fridge and the door.

• Tuck the X-rated compliments in lunches, brief cases, on a pillow or in the underwear drawer.

• Strategically place different notes on your body and present them to your mate- one note at a time or arranged as lingerie.

Other versions consist of detailing your favorite shared experiences on each page, writing down your favorite fantasy that you’d like to share or a short poem about how your lover
makes you feel.

Want to make new memories instead?

Pick a game that includes a deck of suggestion cards like the Wildly Sexy Dares Game or A Hot Affair with your Partner. On separate occasions, each of you goes through the deck and pulls out a few of your favorites. On Valentine’s, sit with each other and discuss why these ideas got your attention then each of you choose one card from the other’s choices to act out that night.

You can also hide your picks in areas you know only your lover will find them. It gives them the opportunity to build up fervor while fantasizing and you’ll have hot  nights of new adventures!

Don’t leave out the kissing!

• Rub a little Nipple Nibblers on those lips and ease into  teasing, tingling, tasty and soft lip locks that create carnal desires. Take your time and the pleasure will wash over you.

• Try the Sealed with a Kiss Game to explore the depths of this titillating form of touch.

Tips for eternal passion:

The best Valentine’s days are created by honoring and cherishing each other all year long! Every day, find a way to say “I love you”, bid each other a goodday, genuinely listen to the events of each partner’s day, hug each other, get in a tush tap or a soft caress whenever you can, and ALWAYS kiss each other good night.

All the fun playthings mentioned are availabe at my store, and we guarantee Valentine’s Day Delivery as long as you order by February 4th! Have a great Valentine’s!

Thanks to Jen Hasseler, another For Your Pleasure Romance Specialist, here are a few tricks to looking better naked without having to hit the gym.

Below are fourteen tips for looking sizzling in your birthday suit.

Look better naked tip #1

Vibrating Mesh Sponge

item 12350, $20

Exfoliate, exfoliate, exfoliate: especially in the wintertime, skin tends to be dry and flaky, so it’s important to scrub off dead skin cells in order to look radiant in the buff.

Look better naked tip #2

Body Shimmer

item 1217, $10

If you are self-conscious about your curves, tanning is a great way to look thinner without actually having to diet. For a chiseled face, sweep bronzer across the apples of your cheeks, or for Bar Rafaeli-like legs, use a darker bronzer on the outside of the leg and blend with a lighter shade on the inside. A tan can also hide other imperfections like spider veins and stretch marks.

Look better naked tip #3

Makeup may make you feel sexier; however, you don’t want it to smear all over your sheets. Instead of using a heavy foundation or cream, opt for an oil-free tinted moisturizer to even out your skin tone. It blends easily into the skin, can be used all over your body, and contains tiny light reflecting prisms to give you a dewy, sensuous look.

Look better naked tip #4

Make-up artists swear by Preparation H to camouflage any bruises.

Look better naked tip #5

Another reason to nix the white sheets: colored sheets can give you the appearance of a warmer skin tone, even without a tan.

Look better naked tip #6

Pure Instinct

item 8900, $19

Looking sweet is irrelevant if you don’t also smell great. Draw attention to your décolletage and wrists by dabbing on something yummy.  If you’re a Pure Instinct user, you know how powerful this product is!  If you haven’t tried it before, it’s a MUST TRY.  You’ll drive your partner wild.

Look better naked tip #7

Try not to wash your hair if possible. Styling is easier to do on day-old hair and tousled, wavy hair can be sexy.

Look better naked tip #8

And don’t forget to groom the hair down there! Accessorize your bikini line with crystals or have it waxed into a playful shape. Or, for those who prefer to go au natural, just a quick trim with scissors can make all the difference.

Look better naked tip #9

Looking good naked isn’t just about your body; a soft lighting scheme can help flatter your figure. Avoid harsh fluorescents whenever possible and instead try to incorporate mood lighting, such as candles or floor lamps.

Look better naked tip #10

You will also want to make sure the temperature in the room isn’t too hot or cold before ditching your clothes. Too warm will have you sweating whereas icy temps will leave you shivering and your skin goose-pimply and your nipples prematurely erect.

Look better naked tip #11

Don’t underestimate the power of a simple mani/pedi.

Look better naked tip #12

Eat lightly before stripping down to the nude. (Otherwise you will risk looking like you’re pregnant with a food baby.)

Look better naked tip #13

Body Stocking

item L1619, $20

Just because you are naked, doesn’t mean you can’t accessorize. High heels are sexy and have the advantage of making your legs look especially lean. Or, for a more playful option, don a Body stocking, feather boa or a rocking piece of jewelry.

Look better naked tip #14

Lastly, don’t forget to enjoy yourself. Remember, if you feel sexy and fabulous, you will look it, even in the buff.

Don’t forget to purchase your favorite items for once things start getting steamy!

Hot off the press!

The $99 Business Success kit includes $350 worth of Romance Products as well as all the training materials and give-aways to start your own business!

You’ll pay $25 in Shipping & Handling and $25 as an application fee.

When you work with me, I will teach you how to turn your $149 into some pocket change or enough income to pay your bills and fund your dreams.

In fact, if you qualify by submitting $1000 in retail sales in your first 30 days, this kit will be FREE! FYP will credit you with $99!!

Here’s more about being an FYP consultant?

Contact me and can start off your summer with a little more in your pocket!

Remember you are LIMITLESS POSSIBILITY!

Thanks to the Goddesses of Tantra for this fabulous article on the intricacies of that occasionally elusive moment (or two!)

Surprisingly not only men, but also more than a few women don’t completely understand or appreciate the process. This circumstance should be of  little surprise to anyone considering that there has been, and continues to be a good deal of disagreement even among “experts” on the subject of female orgasm.

The questions are innumerable… How does it happen? Is every woman able to have this experience? What does climax feel like? Are there variations of orgasm? Why does it take longer for females to achieve climax?

What happens during climax

After a woman becomes sexually aroused, her heart beats faster while her breathing quickens. Often, she’ll tighten various muscles all over her body. Her breasts usually enlarge somewhat, the nipples tend to stand out while the areolas become noticeably enlarged. Some women flush red on their face, neck and chest. The visible part of the clitoris also swells slightly.

Secretions occur inside and at the opening of the vagina. Her labia flatten and open. The vagina lengthens and widens internally, changing what was a potential space into more of an actual space. These vaginal changes are mainly a result of a rush of blood to the pelvic area — called engorgement — which provides a generally pleasurable warmth in a female’s genital area.

As her arousal increases, so does engorgement as well as most of the changes mentioned above becoming more pronounced. The one area that doesn’t follow this pattern is the clitoris. Instead of continually swelling, it actually begins to retract under the clitoral hood and decreases in length by about 50%. This is a sign that orgasm is imminent for most women, as long as optimal stimulation continues.

The orgasm itself begins with strong muscle contractions. These contractions can be finished within four seconds or last up to about 15 seconds. They tend to occur at intervals of 0.8 seconds. Also, the inner two-thirds of the vagina usually open up even more, while the uterus contracts.

During orgasm, skin flushing generally reaches its maximum. Muscles may keep contracting, while blood pressure, heart rate and respiratory rate continue to rise. Some women make sounds reflecting the pleasure they are experiencing.

Signs confirming orgasm

Rhythmic muscle contractions occur in the outer third of the vagina, the uterus and anus. The first muscle contractions are the most intense, and occur at a rate of about 1 per second. As the orgasm continues, the contractions become less intense and occur at a more random rate.

• A mild orgasm may have 3 -5 contractions, an intense orgasm 10 -15.

• The “sex flush” (redness) becomes even more pronounced and may cover a greater percentage of the body.

• Muscles throughout the body may contract during orgasm, not just those in the pelvic area.

• Some women will emit or spray some fluid from their urethra during orgasm. This is often called female ejaculation.

• A woman’s facial expression may indicate that she is in pain when she is having a pleasurable orgasm.

• At the peak of orgasm the entire body may become momentarily rigid.

What does orgasm feel like?

Women who have never experienced orgasm, and women who are not sure if they have, often ask, “What does an orgasm feel like?”

This is a hard, if not impossible, question to answer. Imagine trying to explain to someone what it feels like to sneeze or yawn. Not easy to do. How our senses and brain interpret physical stimuli is subjective, that is dependent solely on the individual’s perceptions.

Subjective reports frequently mention a sensation of tingling in the spine, brain, and genital areas. While some women relay an experience being on the verge of passing out, others report a level of enjoyment only somewhat less than that of “the earth moving”. If a woman has experienced some form of nerve damage, she may not be able to tell if she has had an orgasm.

Female sensual receptors

Although it’s true that the entire body is in some way involved during climax, the key sensual receptor will always be the clitoris. Without engaging the “clit” directly or indirectly, there can be no prospect of orgasm. It seems difficult, particularly for men to understand that something as diminutive as the clit could be so vitally important. How could this tiny, almost external appendage be infinitely more sensitive than the vagina itself?

Intuition would make you believe that the lining or walls of the vagina are somehow more akin to the tip penis. Following that logic these two matching surfaces would engage one another during intercourse… resulting in ultimate mutual pleasure, physically and emotionally. Yet for some reason mother nature has played a trick. During intercourse primarily the emotional element comes into play, as the female creates a physical union with male.

There is a simple but not necessarily well known explanation for this circumstance. Unlike the glands of the penis, the vagina has relatively few sensual receptors. Ironically, the deeper the penetration, the fewer the receptors. The relatively few nerve receptors which do exist in the vagina are actually located to the upper third; which in many women may be only marginally sensitive at best.

For a woman to achieve climax the clit must be stimulated in some fashion.

This can be accomplished in two ways, directly or indirectly. With the indirect method the males pubic bone may push up against the clit while thrusting during intercourse. Or the penis may rub against the vulva, which because of its proximity to the clit, may result in indirect stimulation.

Considering these circumstances it should be evident that indirect stimulation of the clit is not very efficient. It’s actually a testimonial to the clit’s remarkable sensitivity that indirect stimulation is even sufficient to produce climax for about 30 – 40% of women. Depending on the result of any particular survey.

By most accounts the clit is the counterpart of the tip or “glans” of the penis, with three primary differences: a) the urethra does not pass though the clit. b) it’s smaller in size. 3) it’s significantly more sensitive due to the greater number of nerve receptors (per square inch) than those found on the glans of the penis.

In this case it should be fair to assume that it’s not possible for the majority of women to reach climax solely as a result of intercourse in the missionary position (face to face).

What might be the alternative?

Any position which allows the male partner easy and unrestricted access to the clit. For example: with the male laying on his back, and the female straddling his waist (facing him). In this position it’s easily possible for the female to engage in thrusting, while allowing the male to directly stimulate her clit with his fingers.

Another alternative… more secure couples may decide to engage in intercourse with the male entering from the rear. With the female positioned in a forward kneeling position, she would have one hand free. This would allow her to stroke her clit to the point of full climax in concert with the thrusting action of her partner. The Application of this technique may make it possible for the couple to coordinate their efforts of reaching that elusive and highly prized “simultaneous” orgasm.

This was originally published in the Sun on May 25th.

ANY considerate lover wants their partner to feel satisfied, but there are major differences between men’s and women’s orgasms.

If you are a guy wanting to be sure your partner reaches orgasm, be careful that you aren’t putting pressure on your wife or girlfriend to enjoy her sex life as you think she ought to, rather than tuning in to her needs and desires.

Men and women do have quite different sexual needs and responses.

Men usually rate intercourse as the most important activity and see making love as a sequence of the three Es – excitement, erection and ejaculation. Most men feel they’ve failed if their partner doesn’t also climax, preferably during intercourse.

However, only around 50 per cent of women do usually reach orgasm when they make love and only about half of these usually do so during intercourse. So, if your partner is enjoying the total experience of having sex, if she is left feeling content and fulfilled, then there is no reason why either of you should feel she has a problem even if she doesn’t always orgasm. She’s quite normal.

Nonetheless, you will want to be sure that you’re making love to your partner in a way most likely to help her experience full sexual satisfaction and reach orgasm, if that’s what she wants.

First of all she must be in the right mood to want to make love – and that may well largely depend on how considerate you are as a partner out of bed, as well as in it. You may think a couple of drinks will help her get in the mood but don’t over-do it.

Too much alcohol can add to the problem, dry up the vaginal secretions and reduce the blood flow to the sex organs. This in turn can make sex more painful and make it harder for a woman to reach orgasm.

Foreplay

If the mood is right, try not to approach love-making like a football match, when the winning goal is all. Think of it more like a leisurely swim in warm seas, when every stroke is a pleasure in itself. Allow a lot of time for foreplay.

Kama Sutra Honey Dust

item 5171

You want to bring your partner’s body alive all over. You may well like to start with kissing, and caress her arms, her back, her legs, experimenting with firm, smooth strokes and light, finger-tip, feathery movements. Caress and kiss her face, mouth, ears, neck. This is where some Kama Sutra Honey Dust with it’s light as a touch feather and tasty powder comes in handy.

When both of you feel that your skin is alive all over, then you can move on to the more obviously sexual areas of stimulation. Caress and kiss all over her body. To start with just make the odd lightning dash to the sexual area and away again, and then gradually start to linger longer.

The part of women’s anatomy which brings most of them the most pleasure is the clitoris, a sort of little peak in front of the vagina. It is very, very sensitive. Some women find direct stimulation quickly makes them feel sore. You must experiment. The flat of your hand may be what feels best. The tongue can work wonders if your partner enjoys oral sex.

And do talk to one another while you make love. You have got to communicate to let one another know how you feel and what is good. Don’t expect to read one another’s thoughts. Sex can be magical but it can’t achieve miracles of mind-reading.

This build-up can take half an hour before your partner feels quite ready for intercourse, though she may already have reached orgasm through your love-play.

Kama Sutra Sexual Positions

item 5950

Intercourse

If you are going to have intercourse, the position or positions you choose are up to you – there are no rights or wrongs. Some couples have a wonderful sex life never varying from the traditional “missionary”, face to face with the man lying between the woman’s legs, but many women find they get more sensation in the missionary position if they place a pillow underneath their bottom. If you need some inspiration, check out the Kama Sutra book of Sexual Positions. Variety is spicy!

Some women enjoy the clitoris or surrounding area being caressed at the same time as having intercourse, perhaps with the man approaching from behind.

Reaching a climax needs some muscle tension and you can give this a nudge in the right direction. The woman shouldn’t try to relax but consciously tense the pelvic-floor muscle. Then she should arch her back and put her head back. This gets her body in the right position to reach climax, as long as her partner carries on pleasuring her.

Some women find it best if they are on top so they have more control, as sometimes it will feel good to both of you to go fast, sometimes slowly. Again, you must feel free to talk to one another.

Climax

Couples have widely varying patterns of orgasmic response. It certainly doesn’t matter whether you both climax at the same time. A happy pattern achieved by many couples is that the woman climaxes once or more times – the number doesn’t really matter as long as she enjoys it – and the man climaxes afterwards.

If you climax first and lose your erection, you can either wait and build up to it again, or you can bring her to climax through other stimulation.

Modern-style vibrators designed especially to suit women’s sexual responses can make a positive difference. Check out our store.

If your partner consistently maintains that nothing feels right, then don’t assume this necessarily means your technique as a lover is at fault.

If you know you’ve pretty well followed the suggestions I’ve given here, then the problem is almost certainly that for some reason anxiety is blocking her sexual responsiveness. Common reasons for that are a represssive upbringing or unhappy early experiences.

It may be resolved if you have patience and can persuade your partner to confide in you, but such problems often need expert help to be properly sorted out. You may want to find a local sex therapist or counselor to help you both work through these issues.

I hope that helps. If you would like further advice, please e-mail me at SpicyPrincess at comcast dot net. I’ll look forward to hearing from you.

I haven’t  talked much about the other side of my business, the part where I am the team leader of the Naughty Nymphettes.

Who are they?

They are the 150 or so people around the country who I have mentored, trained, coached, motivated and WooHoo’d for as they built their Pleasure Party businesses with For Your Pleasure.

Surprisingly, at least to me initially, I am not the only person who likes talking about sex and wants to get paid for it. In fact, when I was first looking into starting up this business, my biggest concern was that “normal” people wouldn’t want to make a living selling sex toys. But guess what? They do, and they’re good at it!

The Team

We consist of mostly women, and a couple of guys who live all over the states. We have Nymphettes in Oregon, Washington, California, Colorado, DC, New York, Maine, Florida, Missouri, Iowa, New Mexico, Texas, Maryland, Kansas, Ohio, North Carolina, Virginia and Louisiana. We are married and single, moms or not, have full time jobs, or stay home with the kids. We are straight, gay and bi, and both Democrats and Republicans. Some of us have Masters degrees, some of us never went to college. We are ethnically and economically diverse. In other words, we are a representation of our country.

As different as we are in many ways, we all have in common a true desire to impact people’s lives: Our own, our family’s, our customers’, hostesses, and each other’s. We each start with a dream, sometimes big like buying a house, traveling to Thailand, paying for college, saving for retirement or being financially independent. Or smaller but no less significant goals like getting a new computer, paying down debt, painting our home. For some of us, being completely self employed and away from corporate America or the constraints and minimal pay of a 9-5 job is what drives us.

And we have each come to For Your Pleasure as a way to make those dreams reality.

My Role

I am the coach.

• I train new Naughty Nymphettes so they are prepared for their parties.
• I encourage their vision and show them how each dream they hold can be made real through an action plan, consistency and determination.
• I teach them everything I know about sex and how to learn what I don’t.
• I pass on systems, tips and organizational tools that have been proven to work.
• I listen when things didn’t go as planned, and remind them of the gold nuggets uncovered.
• I emphasize their strengths and develop their inexperience.

I am the Cheerleader.

• I root for them. (waving imaginary pom poms.)
• I celebrate their wins and collaborate with them on the next step to bring them closer to their personal goals.
• I praise their efforts.
• I crow about how proud I am to be invited on their journey.
• I reward their wins with prizes and cash. Lot’s of it.

I am a Teammate.

• We work closely because Together Everyone Achieves More!

Are you Naughty Nymphette material?

• Are you someone others want to hang out with?
• Are you driven to make a difference with women and their partners?
• Are you funny, compassionate and professional?
• Are you self-directed, resourceful and sales minded?
• Do you want to make an extra $1000 – $5000 a month?
• Are you willing to work for it?

If you answered yes and want to know more, be sure to spend some time reading the details.

Or if you just want to talk, contact me here.

The Hot Affair Experiment.

A while back we started the Hot Affair experiment. About trying one relatively small task at a time, to get the thrill back. You can pick and choose as they come along, or you can try each one and see if you get where you’re looking to go. One rule: No Pressure! There are no shoulda, woulda, coulda’s in this experiment.

Just joining us and want to start at the beginning?

#1 Pampering Yourself

#2 Swallowing the Snark

#3 Rituals. Traditions.

#4 How much work does a relationship need?

#5 Be a Tease. In a good way.

Has it been one of those days? or even one of those months?

Life has been running you around and you haven’t had time to breathe, let alone take a love break with your honey.

Well, take a drive…. a sex drive at home.

Pick a time in the next three days that you and your lover will be together.

Sexual Energy Shot

item 9878

Serve some cocktails or beer, and pour a little sex energy drink into each of your last sips. This drink is a blend of plant extracts which will get your juices flowing and your libido soaring.  Just what you need to get the party started!

Tasty Twist

item 11040

After you’ve gotten your partner’s attention, add to the fun with some Tasty Twist in all the right places. This tasty oral-gasm enhancer will tickle more than just your taste buds! Choose from Chocolate Mint, Buttercream Icing or Orange Creme, apply to your nipples and your clitoris then invite your partner to lick off. Add some to his penis and let him feel the tingle from his head to his toes.

Dessert never tasted, nor felt, quite so yummy.

One Touch Butterfly

item 7825

If you want a little buzz with the fun, you’ll need the One Touch Butterfly—a powerful waterproof wireless bullet encased in a beautiful butterfly sleeve.  Tickle yourself and your partner in so many ways!

After a night like this, you’ll be ready to take on whatever life has to throw at you!

For a night of fun, buy these and more here

Mmmm!

Be clear on one thing: a back rub, while divine, is NOT a sensual massage. A back rub is powerful, short and effective at ridding your body of tension, aches and pains.

Sensual massage is long, languorous and erotic, and involves a great deal of nudity and intimate touching. You give your mom a back rub. You give your lover a sensual massage.

If you’ve never given one of these wonderfully erotic massages, never fear. Our simple, step-by-step instructions will leave you feeling and acting like an experienced sensual masseuse or masseur.

You’ll Need

The Mood

Make sure you have the following items on hand:

• Candles and/or incense

• Romantic CDs

• Clean towels

• Clean flat sheet

• Massage Oil – See Below In-Depth Information

Before You Begin

Before you start rubbing your honey, take a moment to set the mood:

• Lock the door and turn off your cell phone. You want quiet.

• Prepare your massage surface, whether it’s a professional massage table or a bed.

• Provide rolled towels for a neck and knee rest.

• Since massage oils stain most fabrics, spread an old (but clean!) flat sheet over your massage surface.

• Illuminate the room with sensual lighting. Turn off glaring overhead lights and drape sheer fabric over floor lamps. Light candles.

• Make sure the room smells good: use scented candles, incense or room freshener.

• Keep cool water nearby for quick hydration.

• Put a couple of CDs into the changer so you don’t have to stop and put on a new CD.

• Both of you should take a shower, shave and trim your nails.

Communication

Connect

Talk to your partner about your upcoming experience. Make sure he or she understands the difference between traditional and sensual massage — if she’s expecting the former, an erotic massage might be quite unwelcome!

Connect

Start by connecting with your partner. This will vary from couple to couple, so follow your instincts. You might kiss his or her face, lightly touch his or her body, or gaze into each other’s eyes. When you both feel connected, invite your partner to lie face down on the massage table or bed, and arrange pillows and towels to his or her liking.

Sensual Massage

Start slow

Begin by lightly stroking your partner’s body with the tips of your fingers. Start with the back, and then move to the shoulders, arms, buttocks, thighs and calves. Remember to use only light, teasing strokes. When you sense that your partner is relaxed (you might have to ask), you are ready to progress to massage.

Pour about two tablespoons of massage oil into the palm of your hand, and rub your hands together lightly. When the oil is warm and evenly distributed, begin massaging your partner’s back with long, deep strokes.

At the beginning, communicate frequently with your partner to determine if the strokes are too hard or too soft. Keep your hands in contact with your partner at all times, take your time with each rhythmic-yet-sensitive stroke, and proceed from long, gliding strokes to shorter, deeper strokes.

Use your body weight rather than your arm strength for deep strokes; during gliding strokes, keep your knees slightly bent and fluid, and don’t lean over the table.

Once you have developed a rhythm that pleases both of you, move on to the shoulders and arms, and progress to the legs and feet, brushing the buttocks as you move up and down your partner’s body.

Ask your partner to turn over. Begin massaging the chest, arms and hands. Pay special attention to your female partner’s breasts: don’t be too invasive at this stage, but don’t ignore them. Lightly stroke the nipples and undersides.

Glide down to the legs, brushing the genitals on your way down. After finishing the fronts of the legs and feet, glide back up and slowly brush over the genitals. Tease your partner by brushing his or her inner thighs near the genitals, and very lightly touching the pubic region.

Allow the erotic energy to build until it seems like a natural time to start shifting the focus to more explicitly sexual activities.

Genital Massage

Look into your partner’s eyes as you begin touching his or her genitals. Make sure the rapport you built at the beginning of the massage still exists; if it does not, try to reestablish it by slowing down and asking your partner a few questions about what he or she is experiencing. As you proceed with genital massage, remember to use your free hand to tease the rest of your partner’s body.

Female Genital Massage

Start by gently rubbing the entire vulva, follow with clitoral stimulation, and finish with internal and clitoral stimulation — don’t forget the G-Spot! Remember that vaginal penetration usually doesn’t feel good unless she is already in a fairly high state of arousal. If your partner is comfortable, feel free to use a vibrator to assist you in the massage.

Male Genital Massage

Begin by applying some lubricant to the palm of your hands and rubbing it gently into the penis and testicles. Male genital massage is guided by one main principle: slow down and stop or change what you are doing just before ejaculation becomes inevitable. Ask your partner to let you know if he is about to ejaculate, or develop a signal – verbal cues, raising a hand, pulling away slightly, or even subtle body language cues can all work well. It’s usually best to vary strokes at the beginning, and then concentrate on one or two kinds of strokes as the massage nears completion. By bringing your lover to the peak without allowing him to ejaculate, you prolong the massage and help your lover have a more intense orgasm.

Hold Each Other

Happy

After the massaging is finished and you are both relaxed, remember to spend some time together before falling asleep or running out the door. You have both just shared an extremely intimate experience. Hold each other, talk to each other, and enjoy the intimacy as long as you can. Be positive about the experience, especially if it was your first time. Remember, practice makes perfect!

Massage doesn’t just feel good — it can actually improve your sex life. Sensual massage relaxes you and increases the flow of blood within your body, making it easier for you to become aroused.

Massage is a wonderful way to relieve stress, promote healing of your body and mind and recover from injury or chronic pain. In addition to promoting good health and relaxation, massage can help you grow closer to a loved one. You may want to try receiving a massage with an intimate partner. While some spas and massage therapy practices will allow mixed genders to receive massage at the same time, in the same room, others may ask that you meet up afterward. Some practitioners will perform massage services outdoors, in a private location, which can be an especially romantic way to experience massage with a partner.

Whether you’ve received massages before or are totally new to the experience, you’ll want to find out about the different types of massage available today. Keep your mind open to new things, and you may find massage to be the solution to your problems — physical, emotional or romantic!

Whether you plan to give a garden-variety backrub or a full-scale sensual massage, you’ll need some lubrication — a bone-dry massage can actually hurt! Fortunately, a multitude of products are available to choose from. We recommend keeping at least one of each type of massage product on hand — you never know when you’ll have a massage emergency!

Massage Oils

Kama Sutra Oil

Item 375

Massage oils do a variety of useful things: they spice up a boring night, lend a sensual dimension to a boring old back rub, and reduce friction, keeping your body silky, slippery and slick. Available in a wide variety of flavors and viscosities, most massage oils are non-toxic and safe to ingest in small quantities. However, make sure you read the bottle before you lick massage oil off your lover’s back! A night of sensual massage should not result in a trip to the doctor.

The Kama Sutra Aweet Almond massage oil is specifically formulated to leave you feeling smooth, moisturized but never greasy. Made from Cold-pressed oils and infused with Pure Almond Essence, it soothes your mood as well as your skin.

To use massage oil, pour a small amount in the palm of your hand and rub your hands together before gently applying to your lover’s body. Never pour the oil directly on from the bottle — it feels cold and weird. Rub the lotion or oil into your lover’s body, reapplying as necessary. If you have oily skin, make sure you shower after your massage: many massage oils can cause breakouts on your back or chest.

Feel free to rub oil into your lover’s back, arms, legs, buttocks, chest and neck, but keep it away from genitals unless the bottle specifically says the lotion is safe for internal use. Even if it is safe, test a small amount on the skin first, ensuring you and your lover won’t have an allergic or “burning” reaction to it. Massage oils are not safe to use with latex products, such as sex toys or condoms, unless the bottle specifically states otherwise. Massage oils should also not be used as a lubricant for penetration, unless the product has been specifically formulated for anal, vaginal or oral play.

Massage Lotions

Pheromones Lotion

Item 8628

If you don’t like slightly greasy residue that massage oils can leave behind, you might want to try a massage lotion. In addition to being a little less slippery, massage lotions don’t usually cause breakouts, as massage oils have been known to do. If you have oily skin, you may want to start with a lotion, as opposed to oil. However, massage lotions also moisturize dry, flaky skin, so if you have dry or combination skin, they’re a safe bet too.

Our Pheromones Lotion feels soft and silky and absorbs lightly into the skin. Smelling of crisp Cucumber and Melon and formulated with pheromones, you will find yourself relaxed and decidedly happier after your massage.

While you can use regular hand lotion for a back rub, it’s best to use lotions specifically developed for massage. They leave less of a sticky residue and often have a pleasant aroma and/or taste. Try to avoid the Ben Gay-scented athletic tonics when combining sex with massage — the mentholated fumes, while effective at relieving stress and tension from the body, can be a huge sensual turnoff.

Massage lotions are used in much the same way as oils: rub a tablespoon-sized dollop between your hands, and then apply it with long, languorous strokes. You’ll need to reapply lotions more often than oils as lotions are usually absorbed more quickly. Also, unlike oils, lotions can usually be rejuvenated with a spritz of water from a spray bottle, which also creates a pleasantly slippery texture that can be quite erotic.

Like massage oils, lotions will destroy latex products, such as sex toys or condoms, unless the bottle specifically states otherwise. Also, massage lotions should never be used internally, for activities such as vaginal or anal play. Many lotions are non-toxic, and therefore safe to lick; however, you’ll want to check the bottle’s label first. Be warned: lotions that aren’t specifically made to be edible (which is different than non-toxic) can taste really terrible, so you may want to avoid oral experimentation unless you’re using a product formulated for oral play.

Warming Lotions

Aphrodisiac Oil

Item 5605

While not the best option for full-body massages, warming oils, also known as edible oils, are great for genital massage, or for massaging small, concentrated areas, such as breasts, buttocks, thighs and arms.

Warming oils work about the same way massage oils work: pour a small puddle in one hand, rub both hands together to distribute, then apply in a thin layer to the desired area. Gently rub into the skin, applying more as necessary. As you continue to massage, the warming oil will begin to heat up, causing your partner to feel a pleasantly warm sensation.

Some warming oils can’t be used with latex products — make sure to read the label before using. Warming oils aren’t appropriate for internal use — don’t use them for vaginal or anal penetration. However, you can apply them to the surface of your genitals. Be warned: some of the warmth-inducing elements may irritate skin; do a skin patch test before using during sex or your genitals may end up hotter than you intended.

Whether or not you feel comfortable using massage products or warming oils at every sexual encounter, it’s smart to have a few bottles lying around in case you need them. Most keep for a couple of years without damage; open the bottle and sniff them before using. If the bottle smells unpleasant, or if there’s any icky-looking residue, toss it. It’s better to be safe than sorry.

The Hot Affair Experiment.

A while back we started the Hot Affair experiment. About trying one relatively small task at a time, to get the thrill back. You can pick and choose as they come along, or you can try each one and see if you get where you’re looking to go. One rule: No Pressure! There are no shoulda, woulda, coulda’s in this experiment.

Just joining us and want to start at the beginning?

#1 Pampering Yourself

#2 Swallowing the Snark

#3 Rituals. Traditions.

#4 How much work does a relationship need?

Enjoy a little sensual flirting with your partner!

Plan a nice dinner out with your sweetheart.

You’ll be feeling and looking beautiful because you’ll be wearing Pure Instinct, Sugar Lips Tingle Gloss, and SHHH! – your little secret is that underneath your clothes, you’re wearing the beautiful Butterfly Thong.

After you’ve ordered your dinner, excuse yourself

Sugar Lips Gloss

item 6372

Tell your partner you’re off to the restroom quick before the food arrives.  Before you leave the table, though, give him a long, lingering kiss with your Sugar Lips Gloss on your lips.  As you walk away, his lips will tingle from your gloss, and your kiss will linger on his lips even longer.

Once you’re in the bathroom

Butterfly Thong

item L2046

Remove your Butterfly Thong and put it in your purse.  When you return to the table, hand the thong to your partner underneath the table.  You’ll drive him absolutely wild and your evening is almost guaranteed to end in some steamy romance!

Enjoy!

Look here if you want to purchase any of the products I have suggested or to browse all the others we sell.